Crashing a Bar Mitzvah — Part I

This dare is actually proposed by my husband Dan, who is Jewish for those you who don’t know.  He had initially tossed around the idea of crashing a wedding but he raised the bar — as an Asian woman, I would have no where to hide.  Since I consider myself an honorary member of the Jewish community and know I mean no disrespect, I added the dare to my roster.

First thing first.  How do you find out where & when a Bar Mitzvah is being held?

It’s actually a little trickier than I anticipated.  Initially, I relied solely on Internet research.  One temple had listings on their online calendar but it’s only for the ceremony.  I’m aiming to crash the party afterwards and many of them are held at different locations.  I could attend the ceremony but I would risk getting caught before the party even starts.  January is coming to an end and I have limited time to make good on my pledge.  It would have to be this weekend.  I will need to get on the phone and make it personal.

After calling a number of function halls that advertises Bar Mitzvah in their marketing material in and around Massachusetts.  Nothing seems to be happening this weekend.  I had to try a different approach.  I asked around my personal network for a popular Bar Mitzvah venue, John told me a hotel that’s particularly popular.  So I called up the reservations desk at 9:20pm on Tuesday evening.

Hotel Staff: This is Kimberly at the Marriott, how may I assist you?  (name & place changed to protect the innocent)

Me: Hi, I’m an out of town guest attending the Bar Mitzvah this weekend.  I just wanted to check and make sure the celebration is on Saturday, not Sunday, before I book my reservations.

Hotel Staff: Ok, let me check..  What’s the name of the Bar Mitzvah?  

Me: Danny Friedman 

Hotel Staff:  Hold on please… (1 minute later)  I’m sorry, I’m not seeing Friedman on the calendar.  The only one we have is the Goldberg Bar Mitzvah at noon on Saturday.

Bingo!!!

Now that the logistics are out of the way and the event imminent, my mind keeps running through worst case scenarios.  What if I get caught?  I could potentially get arrested..  It would go on my record..  Do I want to be known for the rest of my life as the-Asian-mother-who-crashed-a-Bar-Mitzvah?

Then, there is the moral dilemma.  Just how wrong is it to crash a birthday party?  What if I were in their shoes.  Part of me is actually pretty concerned about doing the right thing.  You see, if I had decided to crash a party on the spur of the moment, none of this would have entered my mind and I would have blamed the consequences on the foolishness of.. middle age.  But now I’ve had time to ponder, it’s no longer an act of passion, but pre-meditated transgression.

In the end, I convinced myself to go for it:

1.  It’s for charity

2.  I won’t eat any of the food, so I won’t be stealing

3.  I will bring a present

and that’s that.

Pray for me..

---

Links to related posts:

• Crashing a Bar Mitzvah — Part 2