Archive | June 2014
June 17, 2014  

Gifts from the Road

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Since I got back from the walk, a number of people have asked me what I got out of the experience, and whether I was bored or lonely.  I thought I’d summarize my reflections here.

Before I begin though, I want to share that I did receive this gift from the road, literally.  I spotted it on the side walk in Waltham.  My five-year-old is obsessed with these mini lego figures.  He sleeps with three of them next to his pillow every night.  Not only was this the perfect gift for him, it was also perfect for my circumstance — it was tiny and didn’t add any extra weight to my load.  After we cleaned it up, he attached a lego beard onto it and turned it into “Sensei Wu” — the leader of his lego army.

And now to the lessons.

Lesson #1  It’s harder to be bored when you are on your feet. 

In anticipation of the boredom I’d feel during this long solo walk, I loaded my iPod with podcasts and music.  Surprisingly, I wasn’t bored.  For one, I typically had something very immediate to focus on: How am I going to eat?  Where am I going to sleep?  What else can I throw out from my backpack to lighten the load?  Is there a better way to introduce myself?  Should I pop this blister?  The list goes on.  I would say I spent about a quarter of my mental energy on the logistics and maintenance of my little ecosystem. Another quarter of my time was spent reflecting on my experiences and whatever else that was on my mind.  The rest of the time, I just vegged.  I took in the landscape and the scents around me: the smells of grasses, wild flowers, damp ground, mulch, pond scum, chicken coops…

I remember on the second day, I started listening to a podcast that I’d been looking forward to — an interview with Marc Andreessen, venture capitalist and founder of Netscape, talking about venture investing and how technology will change education, the health care system and other major aspects of society.  While I enjoyed it a lot, the intellectual nature of it felt a little jarring in contrast to the sensory-focused primitive life I was immersed in.  I found myself wanting to take a break from the intellectual world.  I unplugged on the third and fourth day just to fully enjoy my restful and blank mind.  Well, part of it was by necessity — I was doing so much traffic dodging that I didn’t want to risk getting smushed by a semi because I was listening to Freakonomics Radio.

It was a few days without worldly responsibilities.  Life felt refreshingly simple.  It had a great rhythm of walk, forage, walk, forage, walk, walk, find sleeping quarters and conk out.  I think I would have been bored more if I were sitting down. Regarding boredom, I found that having nothing to do is not the bad part, it’s the meh feeling associated with having nothing to do that makes it unpleasant. When I was on my feet and moving around constantly, I didn’t feel restless.  When my mind was empty, it was a restful, meditative and enjoyable experience.  So next time you are bored, go for a walk :).

Lesson #2  It requires virtually no money to have an amazing experience, but it does require energy.

I hope the first part is evident from my last few blog posts :).

The harder part is having the energy to undertake the project.  Back in the day when I was working at a grueling job that required weekly commute from Boston to NYC, just thinking about this project would have made me tired.  This trip took preparation and planning, and that required energy, but that’s not even the half of it.  It took a lot of reflection to figure out what it is I wanted and then design and commit to the Care Dares project.  While walking 100 miles may not be your ideal adventure, I bet you have your own version that’s waiting to be discovered and embarked on.

If you have a few days to take on a personal adventure but don’t have the time or energy to figure out what it would be,  just give me a call!  I’d be happy to brainstorm with you.  If I don’t know you, feel free to send me an email at ann.caredares@gmail.com   There is nothing I love more than designing fun and enriching experiences.

Lesson #3  Relish the experience when things get dark — it’s part of the adventure.

On the evening of the third day, when the temperature suddenly dropped and I was stuck in the cold rain, I started to feel a little desperate because night was approaching and I had nowhere to sleep.  I couldn’t camp out in backyards with all that rain (I don’t have a tent, just a mosquito net).  Accompanying that realization was a constriction, a dark and foreboding feeling that mirrored the weather outside.  I remember texting Dan about my situation.  He texted back “Oh well, trip was too easy up till now anyway :)”  And you know what, he was right.  I’m here willingly on an adventure after all.  If things came too easily, it wouldn’t make for a very good adventure.  The bind I found myself in suddenly was there for me instead of against me.  Immediately, my mood lifted.  Rather than the constricted feeling, I felt more relaxed and my mind expanded. This was just something to be handled.  In that frame of mind, I quickly sized up my situation and came up with a solution – holding up a sign in front of a supermarket asking people for a place to stay.  And, I did it with good cheer.

This reminds me of a similar situation Dan had gone through.  A few years ago, Dan went on a biking/camping trip with a couple of friends.  When he came back, he said the trip was miserable.  It rained.  They were drenched and starving.  It took over an hour to get a fire going and to top it off, one of them got a flat tire on the ride back.  He was just so happy to be home.  Yet, as the years passed, he would look back on that trip as a fun adventure and recall the trials and tribulations with fondness.  Well, if that would be the case later, then why not enjoy the experience and appreciate it while it is happening?

I realized something very important for me on this trip — I aspire to be that person who holds on to a light and adventurous attitude no matter what’s happening in life, who refuses to succumb to defensiveness, negativity, and fear.  Moreover, when I’m thrown into a tough situation as part of a group, I want to not only maintain that attitude for myself, but to help bring it about in the group.  Facing hardship as a group, if done right, can build life-long bonds.  I certainly don’t want to miss out on those opportunities.

Lesson #4  If you do what others around you do, then you will generally get the life they have.  If you want to have an awesome life, then you better be willing to do things that others are not. 

It takes time and experience to experiment and figure out what you want.  Then once you have a few of those things figured out, then it’s time to do them and make them happen!  I’m not talking about big things like quitting your job (just yet).  Start small and the momentum will develop.  Back a few months ago on Easter Sunday, Dan and I took our five-year-old to an Easter egg hunt.  Well, it was more of an Easter egg grab.  There were about two hundred kids rearing to go on a grassy hill. Ten minutes before the hunt, the organizers started to empty out large trash bags full of Easter eggs onto the lawn.  Parents and kids had to stay behind the yellow tape for the time being.  The eggs were all clustered in big piles.  The organizers were starting to scatter them more evenly across the lawn.  I thought it looked fun and wanted to run out there and help. Normally, it would have stayed an unspoken urge.  But because I was in Care Dares mode, I went for it.  As I tossed pastel-colored eggs hither and thither, I saw my five-year-old smiling at me.  It was a small thing but it contributed to making my day awesome and by that same token, my life awesome.

This month, I will be building a boat.  I shuffled things around a bit because rather than doing it in August, I will (hopefully) have the boat for the rest of the summer to enjoy.

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